Yes, I finally bought a pair of TOMS.
When they first came out, I hated them. They hardly had any structure, and you could see every line and curve of a person's toes. They looked like a underdeveloped shoe - which is the shoemaker's intent. How could he make the cheapest shoe that people would buy, so that he could give a pair to shoeless people in Argentina's country towns? Blake, the creator, is very handsome, had a brilliant marketing plan (use free advertising from ATT commercials to further his business), and was doing something to better the world. I hated the shoe. I hated him. Classic jealousy - why didn't I think of this idea?!
During Christmas, they came out with a sturdier constructed glitter fabric. Although I was initially upset with myself for jumping on the bandwagon, I was pulled over to the dark side. Because I pride myself on being rebellious, different from others, I felt like my strong personality traits were slipping. Here I was falling for his ingenious charm and developing a social conscience. Damn you, Blake. (And they are actually super comfortable. Damn you, again.)
How does this relate to telepathy and politics you might ask.
Well, with my TOMS came a deeper awareness of my intentions and reasons for loving the shoes, albeit repressed. Why did shoes give me an uneasy feeling? Wearing TOMS, in my mind, also meant appearing liberal, vegan, and hippie so rampant on the West Coast. It also meant shoving my political ideas in people's faces. Oh god, what would people think of me?
Yes, I found a way to learn a lesson here. I am noticing I avoid conflict at all costs. I hate politics. I hate that people's passions turn militant, especially as they relate to their partisan beliefs. I hate the aggression that comes with "being right." We even go as far using the "god" of science to validate our precise and accurate opinion. But even scientists are imperfectly human. Even they sculpt limited questions and find limited answers in the guise of the truth. But, we have to believe everything science has said because it makes us feel secure. But remember how science has failed us in the past. DDT? Connecting African American brains to dog brains? Using shock therapy to heal? While we can use science for good, it can also be used for evil (Mary Shelley's Frankenstein anyone?). Yes, science has not always proven a just god.
In short, notice how many times we search for outside validation in the form of absolute truth and live only in our brains, disconnected from our heart or feelings. Being right gets a higher priority it seems. Rather, being able to prove you are right gets precedence.
If I am wearing my TOMS, you might joke with me about being liberal, driving a Subaru Outback, or voting for Obama. This might start a whole discussion with me on how since I've had dogs, my whole outlook on how animals feel pain and have a range of personalities has influenced me to eat less meat. Then, you might respond something about we have carnivore teeth, and I might respond that we have teeth for grinding, that's why they are so flat and wide in the back. This could escalate into a passionate argument and then into a full on deadlock as we each want our opinion to win and the other's to lose. Aggression meeting aggression. (and we wonder why more women don't go into politics and why bullying is becoming a common occurrence)
So, how do I ensure my argument will win? By thinking I know what you are thinking. By predicting what you will say next. In essence, to worry about your retort and how to counter that. This is consistently modeled by the media. We have hours of programming that is just endless chatter that goes no where.
But by living on edge, always ready to prove myself, and to fight for my opinion is deeply exhausting. So most times, I don't even get into it. I avoid the conflict by not buying the damn shoes.
What if I changed this pattern of behavior? What if I simply not worry about what you think? Ahhh, but so challenging.
Another way to think about this is to see how illogical and unreliable our feedback loop is:
"When you worry about what other people think, you're not REALLY worrying about what they think, you are worrying about what you think they think. You are worry about the shadow of a shadow… their thoughts as a shadow of their feelings and actions, and your thoughts of what they think as a shadow of the real thing." Thus, we are not really communicating at all. Because each of us is talking shadows to shadows, we are not connecting at all.
It's ok to have my own opinion. And it's fine for you to have yours. But that is all that it is - an opinion. We have made laws that govern our society around those opinions that give them a false impression of power, which makes our opinions seem utterly vital. But they're not. There is no good or bad, just my view and yours.
So, I am not giving any more influence to these perspectives. I am no longer worrying about what you think. Even better, I am not going to torment myself for not being more political or for buying shoes that may have a political message. I am simply going to label them thoughts, disconnecting the moral imperatives that we often need to attach to prove we are right or guilt trip ourselves into feigned acts of good.
In the end, reading people's minds has become a vicious cycle in which we search for secure ground. When we search for validation instead of just being ourselves, we aren't really communicating, we aren't really changing anything, and we are blocking our vibration into the world.
A strategy on how to overt the pugnacious attempts of being right includes cultivating inner peace that will echo into the world: "It starts with seeing our opinions of ourselves and of others as simply our take on reality and not making them a reason to increase the negativity on the planet."
I'll return to cursing TOMS once again. Damn you for making me less "political" - that is I am giving up being more concerned with status or authority, being right, rather than matters of principle. Damn you for making me give up telepathy. While it was unnerving to constantly worry about how others perceive me, not worrying feels like I am wearing a underdeveloped shoe. While to some who crave structure, they may feel flimsy at first, after wearing them for awhile, they are freeing.
you zen hippie, you. :)
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