At a former high school where I worked, the football coach motivated boys with this cliche. Fathers in tv shows expect young boys not to be a girl by actually showing emotions and reprimand them to man up . The military reminds men to not be "pussy" and cry. This sentiment is practically built into the every day dynamics between men.
Lately, I am overwhelmed with advertising that vehemently states this. Regardless if advertising simply reflects our society or advertising denotes our society, we either need to change society at the root of the problem by heightening our awareness to this issue or let our dollar vote for our values.
While advertising may be a symptom of the larger culturally embedded sexism, we need to start somewhere. These commercials just seem to me to be layered thicker and thicker with this idea of powerful men being least like women. We have heard this line for centuries, and I think (well I hope) most of us see through it.
Over the past 30 years, women have made great strides (though the work is not done yet). Now, men must catch up to the enlightenment beyond binary gender codes. However, marketing campaigns do not seem to want that to happen. While we understand those who sell products oversimplify and intensify in order to reach the broadest spectrum of buyers, what we see can determine how we behave.
It appears advertising is trying to widen the gap between men and women and make it seem natural that we don't want any product that the opposite gender uses. But mostly this is designated towards men. Men must have manly products, which equals the farthest thing away from woman.
These products unquestionably use the marketing strategy of "Otherness," or exclusion, to sell products, especially the intense exclusion of women from the buying demographic. Perhaps it is a backlash to the power women have gained (and actual space they have gained in the boardrooms or battlefields) that these ads represent. These ads enforce women's emasculation of men.
Look at the Charger ad that ran at the last Superbowl that tells men because they put up with all a women's shit, they have earned at least a space to call their own = a manly Dodge Charger.
What a hard place to be if you are a man! Your two options are either a hyper masculinity or a castrated wimp that must BUY back your balls!
For both genders, the drive to look hot as well as the potent push for well-earned self-glorification hasn't been higher. Advertisers are starting to see that "metrosexuals" are a huge buying population. These "young, urban, heterosexual males with liberal political views, an interest in fashion, and a refined sense of taste" are the new tweens in the marketing world - they represent a large consumer population that has gone unnoticed until recently.
This demographic might be seized by some marketers, but other advertisers are capitalizing on the fear that "real" men may be losing their dominance or being pushed out of society by this hipper man or gay/lesbian buyers.
This fear could be used by advertisers vying for dollars between the sexes, disguising a gendered power play to increase the marketer's profit. Men can gain back the purchasing power from the traditional demographic of women who are the holders of the purse strings: currently women buy 85% of consumer products from health care to autos. (See more stats here.)
Consequently these marketers are actually building a larger demographic by using this type of advertising. These "manly men" are created by setting a severe cultural standard of a man that men will want to buy into by reminding men of their lost power. Men can again BUY back their dominance, and consumerism gets a place in our lives as a natural, legitimate way to gain more personal power - a sly ploy but one that may not work if men consciously think about the message.
Look at what Dove says about masculinity: Manthem Commercial. This man doesn't look happy to married or have kids. This man likewise doesn't look happy to have a prescriptive machoness forced on him. But the last few seconds of his Rocky stance, reinforcing his manly power, is supposed to alleviate all these demands, and he feels "comfortable" in his skin, which then allows for the tagline to function.
What's also troubling about this commercial - but also very telling about this manufactured manliness - is they were able to sum up what it means to be a man in 60 seconds (and notice how teenage sex is a requirement, which again enforces a sexual double standard for males that is supposed to be completely socially acceptable). What are men supposed to recognize here? the clear limits and constraints of masculinity today and the constraints that relationships with women put on their lives?
For me, this definition of masculinity somehow feels flat. Why do men have to prove that they're comfortably manly in order to buy their own body wash?
Furthermore, it absolutely acceptable for women to like what men like, but it is utterly unacceptable for a man to like what a women likes. Women who like hard liquor and football are now getting more consumer options - at least a voice in the traditional male realm, and thus some men and women get to share their favorite hobbies with their partners now.
However, this is not a two-way street for women. Sadly, according to this macho marketing, men undoubtedly cannot share in products that may appeal to females.
Take Dr. Pepper 10. Men cannot like diet soda. They are only allowed to like a macho soda that excludes any preconceived notion that it is for anything to do with women.
Again, poor guys trying to decode all of this amid the apprehension and fear that advertising uses to get to us!
Dr. Pepper says it was joking in order to get the product noticed: "“Women get the joke. ‘Is this really for men or really for women?’ is a way to start the conversation that can spread and get people engaged in the product."
This sounds like that undercover power play discussed earlier. Divide and conquer seems to be the strategy for these marketers. Split women and men, but label it a joke, and watch the dollars roll in. Women won't like not being able to buy it, so in an act of rebellion, they will. Men will be conned into buying it because it is hyper masculinized, and they need to find a way to reclaim their power at any cost, even in their soda selection.
We are reminded by Judith Williamson in Decoding Advertisements that "Products are thus set up as being able to buy the things you cannot buy. This puts them in a position of replacing you: they do things you can't do, for you." Women have been receiving that message forever. Now, men are being told they only become men through the purchase and consumption of these products.
Remember most advertising doesn't sell us products. It sells us values.
If men are empowered to decide what kind of men they want to be, then why does it feel like we’re still being told there’s a definition, out there, of what a man is that we’re supposed to measure up to? Or even further, that there’s a (good old, traditional) definition of a man that they can and should be in opposition to and because of other newer, different, less masculine, more feminized versions of “man” somebody is forcing upon us?
Part of the problem, however, with this notion of performing masculinity is the mistaken idea that in order for something to be genuinely manly it must be something women don’t do. And as women have been successful in moving into once all-male bastions, some men have felt the pressure to go to ever more violent and more extreme lengths to “play at manhood.” Within living memory, only men went into combat; within living memory, contact sports for women were non-existent. A man who went to war or played hockey was made more masculine by the role he took as a soldier or a forward. In a world where women go to war—and play hockey—men who believe that true manliness lies in doing what women can’t are forced to create ever more-violent activities from which females can still be excluded. (This explains the rising popularity of the most violent video games, as well as MMA.)
But men who long for a vanished world of all-male preserves are making a fundamental mistake about masculinity. They think that the opposite of “man” is “woman” and that in order to prove oneself the former they must do (perform) things that no woman can. But it makes good sense to suggest that the better antonym of “man” is “boy.” To “perform masculinity” isn’t about doing what women don’t. It’s about doing what boys lack the will or the maturity to do.Ok, so if you don't think advertising matters or even affects you, then think about how many times a day this message of you are not a real man unless you have power over women is shown and reciprocated in the way man relate to each other, women, and gay/lesbian people.
Think about the fact that on a daily basis the definition of this prescribed manliness is to put down women in order to increase manly dominance.
You know people like this who are always cutting down others to make themselves feel powerful. If you have to constantly prove you are powerful, you aren't. And if you aren't powerful, then you need to buy something to replace that lost power at any cost. Thus, this cycle seems to work since marketers are using it on men now: create insecurity and give a product that will provide a solution.
Anyone, it seems, can be a woman or less than a man, but not everyone can be as motivated and courageous as a "real" man - at least that is what some advertisers are using to sell their products.
However, while advertising is ubiquitous, it isn't the end of the world if they show messages that offend us. But it is a missed opportunity for the marketing area. Across the board many have elevated beyond this false dichotomy: Tony Dungy and Phil Jackson are coaches who motivate with respect; the Parks and Recreation show challenges this sexist phrase; more women are being promoted in the military and awareness is being heightened.
I just hope little boys have access to other ways of being a man. And sometimes that takes the people around them to drown out this nonsense, highlight the discrepancy, and point them towards enlightenment.
This definitely is a starting point in analyzing the way gender is performed for men. And it wakes us up to this defunct message outside of the advertising realm and in our every day lives.
